When was the last time you had an ‘a-ha!’ moment?

We have an “aha” moment when we either learn something amazing about ourselves or when we learn something we don’t want to admit at first. In the end, we mostly love learning new things about ourselves.

If getting to know ourselves better is such a valuable experience, isn’t it surprising that we don’t actively look for ways to reduce the time and effort it takes to do so?

My uncle taught me, at 17, that the most important question to ask when connecting with people is – who are we really connecting with? Is it the ego, an altered reflection of self, a person who is shaped by negative circumstances, a person who blindly adopts beliefs of their social environment or is it the true soul of that person?

I’m now 40, and in 23 years, I find there is one thing in common with people I connect with – the most positive, energizing experiences are with the ones that are in touch with their core. I find myself wanting to spend more and more time with people who genuinely love themselves not in a self centered way but in a respectful, admiring way. People who are completely aware of and comfortable with their strengths and weaknesses feel they have nothing to prove, either to themselves or the world. They don’t have to act like someone they are not.

I must say in 23 years that I’ve only met a handful of people (less than to be precise) like that.

So the question is, why can’t most of us be like that? What holds us back? What is the secret sauce?

The simple answer is: The more social interactions you have that are based on open and vulnerable communication, the more it leads to self-awareness and therefore more personal growth. But how many of us go into even a single, much less every, conversation like that?

The shortest path to self-awareness or self-comfort as I like to call it, is having as many one-to-one interactions as you can. Be more open about who you are, not who you think you should be. Be content with yourself, don’t let the world force you to act.

Acting is not acting if you have to remember a script, be natural, effortless in your conversations…slow it down sometimes.